NativeNYker's Rants, Thoughts & Merde

Tobey Maguire Drops Out of 4th Spider-Man Film. Robert Pattinson Rumored to be Up as Replacement.

I hate it when I am made to wake up to someone banging on my door at post-dawn hours.  This used to happen every Saturday morning at about 8 a.m., at the hands of the disciple syndrome seeking Jehovah’s Witness’ – that is until I threatened to baptise them in hot water!  Funny how quickly they change direction in the face of a literal scalding…  Put an end to that right quick!

But presently, more often than not,  it occurs at the hands of my buildings superintendent.  It’s like he knows my lazy ass is still reeling from the effects of a Temazepam induced slumber. 

And to make matters worse, he is almost always with some repairmen looking to fix something or other.  Never cute ones either!  I reckon I should be thankful for that, cuz I don’t exactly wake looking like I am ready for the cat-walk, but more like Root’s Kunta Kinte, cept less pretty.  Too much?  Oh well, the truth is seldom pretty and neither am I in the morning…

News abounds that Tobey Maguire, here seen at the NY “Nine” première, has jumped the shark along with Spidey director Sam Raimi on the previously announced 4th installment of the mega-blockbuster Marvel Comics franchise. 

“Working on the Spider-Man movies was the experience of a lifetime for me. While we were looking forward to doing a fourth one together, the studio and Marvel have a unique opportunity to take the franchise in a new direction, and I know they will do a terrific job,” Raimi officially states on the matter, reported by HollywoodInsider.

Now to me this just means they are looking to play the diplomatic re-negotiating more $$$ role.  Seriously, who the fuck else can step in and make it stick than these two? 

In other Spidey news, reports are swirling that 23-year-old Robert Pattinson (insert from his Planet Hollywood appearance,) is being considered as a possible replacement for the otherwise bland Maguire.  I know he is all the poo – but I can’t swallow this early without gagging a bit!

So needless to say I ain’t buying this one either.  I do however buy the report that Pattinson will star opposite Uma Thurman in “Bel Ami,” based on the Guy du Maupassant book. 

When I first read this, it made perfect sense.  I can totally see Pattinson being pummeled by some Eastern-European uncut cock.  He would truly make a great pussy-boy.  But alas, I misread and went with my morning woods (that’s hard on for those of you who can’t figure it out) take on the Bel Ami reference.  It ain’t the first time I get all excited and jumpstart the finish line and make a wrong connection due to all my blood rushing south – sue me for watching porn!

Stay tuned for more on Spiderman.  The next installment ain’t due until 2012.