Archive for category assault

Patti LaBelle: Sued for Employing Thug Bodyguards

Patti Labelle at the NYC premiere of For Colored Girls

Say it ain’t so, Patti!  The incomparable Patti LaBelle – Lady Marmalade herself – is now facing being named in a lawsuit stemming from her bodyguards beating on a Houston cadet observed “standing too close to her luggage,” while talking on his cell-phone, reports The Daily Mail.  Sound absurd? Wait for it, there is surveillance video!

In the video, LaBelle’s pricey keep are witnessed approaching and punching the young man and knocking him to the ground after he hits a concrete column.  A hit so hard in fact that brother staggers to regain his equilibrium!

That ain’t right…

Reports state the injured cadet bled everywhere.

We luv and have had the pleasure of making Ms. LaBelle’s acquaintance, so this is all too hard to believe.  But we also know – 1st hand – how overzealous hired thugs can be.   And the video is irrefutable!

And if it wasn’t bad enough – in the same video – police are later seen posing for photos with the legendary chanteuse as if it were a meet & greet and not a potential crime scene!  WTF is wrong with people?

We hope LaBelle makes this right – pronto!

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Helen Staudinger: Florida Granny Charged

Helen Staudinger of central Florida charged with firing at her neighbor for not kissing her

Helen Staudinger, 92, of central Florida has gone and gotten herself arrested and charged with firing off a semi-automatic pistol – four times – at her neighbor Dwight Bettner’s house for not kissing her, reports the NY Daily News.

Drastic? Maybe not. 

Staudinger is quoted as stating that her neighbor is a  “‘a smooth talker’ with a lot of girlfriends and that she used to cook for him when he first moved into the neighborhood,” the Daily News points out. 

The cooking alone merits some type of affection in our book.

Granny initially intended on simply firing off at “Bettner’s car that he loved so much,” the police report states.

The missed target is totally understandable, as far as we are concerned – she is 92 after all.

We here at RTnM feel Mrs. Staudinger’s pain in being rebuffed and would, in all likelihood, exonerate her of these charges. 

Let’s face it, men can be some trifling fuckers.

Bettner doesn’t believe that he has done anything to warrant his neighbors fatalistic advances.  “I’ve taken her trash out for her – just neighborly stuff,” Bettner stated. “I guess she just took that as something else.”


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Charlie Sheen: Domestic Abuse XMas Charge

Charlie Sheen Arrested on Domestic Abuse Charges in Aspen

It wasn’t a merry christmas for all, nor for all a good night!  Charlie Sheen has been arrested and charged with domestic violence against his wife Brooke Mueller, mother of his twin boys, on X-Mas day, in Aspen, Colorado, after a call to 9-1-1 to local police on Friday morn, reports TMZ.

The Two and a Half Men costar was taken into custody and held until he posted an $8,500 bond late friday night, after the alleged incident.  Sheen is being charged on felony second degree assault, felony menacing and criminal mischief – a misdemeanor, the website RadarOnline reports.

Sheen is no stranger to trouble with a capital T!  Seriously, y’all – from drugs and booze to philandering and escorts to domestic abuse charges – Sheen trumps the rock-star lifestyle.  But this sucks for him and surely jeapordizes his tenure on the hit show where he earns a reported $825K per episode.

The details of his latest incident are sketchy at best, but reports are already surfacing of Mueller’s claims that Sheen choked her, prompting the 9-1-1- call.  She did however fess up to alcohol being involved.  Hmmmm….

“Do not be mislead by appearance. Appearance and reality can be as different as night and day. It would benefit everyone not to jump to any conclusion,” his publicist Stan Rosenfield has asked via a statement to TMZ.  Dully noted sir.

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Chris Brown Replaces Glam-bert on GMA

This is some offensive shit. ABC’s GMA replaced Adam Lambert with Chris Brown! The same Chris Brown that has been convicted of beating RiRi, leaving her looking like her makeup artist had been deported and she took to doing it herself with Brown’s fist.

Now, I ain’t hating. I have seen Brown perform live and he delivers a performance – although I would argue that he needs to put the fried chicken down for a spell. But he ain’t no Glam-bert.

What the fuck does this say for ABC and GMA execs? Are we to assume that domestic violence – albeit in a six-figure sports car – is Disney sanctioned and crotch grabbing, boy kissing, oral sex SIMULATION is not? Seriously, WTF!

“He was not canceled over a gay kiss,” an ABC source tells the NY Post. Adding that Lambert “showed himself to be unpredictable on live TV.”

That sounds like one piece of lame dumbass excuse for homophobia and being scared shitless of the fuckers who started this whole “offensive” and “vulgar” bullshit!

But on that note, I wonder if anyone has taken a moment to go back and ask those bored sexless housewives how they feel with this turn of events and if this is an OK message for their children…?

I would do it myself cept that I don’t believe I could abstain (much like I can’t keep from crotch grabbing and oral sex!) from asking them if they will finger themselves during Brown’s live performance and taped tell-all interview!

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Mike Tyson: LAX Arrest

Iron Mike Tyson has gone and gotten himself arrested – again! This time at LAX for punching out an over zealous pap who apparently got too too close to the one time boxing phenom and his daughter, reports TMZ.

“The photographer got punched in the face, hit the ground, got up and began walking, leaving a trail of blood,” on the floor tells TMZ’s eyewitness. Additional eyewitnesses corroborate Tyson’s tale of the pap invading his personal space, stating that “the photographer got very close to Tyson before the boxer struck him.”

Now, ordinarily I would side with said pap and hope he gets a good attorney. However, this being Tyson, I would say this pap was looking for it.

Its like when I see a Pitbull coming down the street on a thick-ass chain with an owner struggling to hold on – you don’t go and try to pet it! You walk your ass across the street to go around it.

I have seen the aggression at LAX when a celeb pops up first hand and it gets crazy. But when its Iron Mike “ear biting” Tyson, you pay your respects and move on.

I find it interesting that no word is out on the pap’s identity and who he was working for – although I have myself a clue. For up-to date updates head over to TMZ.

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Chris Brown: I’m Sorry Y’All

Punk Ass Bitch Chris Brown has gone and re-apologized for beating on ex-girlfriend Rihanna.

The difference is that now he has taken to a video apology and has gone and posted it on YouTube.

What hasn’t changed is that it still comes across as a contrived PR spin! Take an acting class Brown!

What is clear, however, is that his career is what is hurting these days.

Note to Brown: If you are going to try to sway the public at least try to do it with some heartfelt sincerity. Don’t do it with some script your publicist penned for you.

Grow up, you pussy.

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Perez Hilton: Persona Non-Grata!

Oh how the mighty start to crumble. With the deluded outburst that led to a beat-down, Perez Hilton is seeing even charities turn on his chubby ass.

Word out is that The Matthew Shepard foundation has officially refused proposed donation from Princess Perez for using homophobic words! Ain’t that some shit?

Perez, seen here attending the People en Espanol 07 party, apparently posted about the donation from any moneys received in an alleged suit against BEP’s and his recent beat-down on his website.

OMG Blog reports on the Shepard Foundations’ position:


The Matthew Shepard Foundation was surprised to learn this morning via media reports that blogger Perez Hilton (aka Mario Lavandeira) has announced he plans to donate, to our organization, the proceeds of a lawsuit he is contesting over an altercation which has been widely reported in recent days.

We had no advance notice or contact from Mr. Hilton or his Representatives regarding this proposal, nor any communication since he posted this plan to his website.

We do not know the details of the lawsuit, whether it has been filed, the nature of his claims or the likely outcome. But because the lawsuit presumably involves the physical attack prompted by Mr. Hilton’s admitted use of an anti-gay slur, the Foundation will be unable to accept any funds obtained in such a manner.

We very much appreciate the generosity of the offer to support our continuing work to memorialize Matthew through activism in defense of sexual minorities and in favor of understanding, compassion, and acceptance. But because so much of our work involves education to reduce the use of hateful language against gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered persons, or those so perceived, it would be inappropriate for us to benefit financially from circumstances in which such a verbal attack was involved.

While we applaud Mr. Hilton’s apology to the LGBT community and their loved ones for his use of such a slur, we also feel compelled to point out that use of epithets can often lead to physical violence, as it appears it may have in this case, and that the Matthew Shepard Foundation has worked for more than 10 years to bring to people’s attention the consequences of hateful or intolerant language.

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Perez Hilton Beat Down

The princess of all media – Perez Hilton, has gone and allegedly gotten himself a beat down by Black Eyed Peas member and actor, Will I Am.

And what does Princess Perez do? She goes and Twitters it! That bitch is nothing if not a capitalist.

Perez: “I’m in shock. I need the police ASAP. Please come to the SoHo Metropolitan Hotel now. Please. I was assaulted by Will.I.Am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke.”

His Twit continued a few moments later with: “Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel. I spoke to my lawyer. I really need to talk to the authorities. Please come to the SoHo Met Hotel. Have called the police. Need them here.”

What this Twit doesn’t divulge is what prompted the alleged attack. I want proof! Not that there would be a reason needed… Dustin Lance Black posting anyone?

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Butler Being Charged!

My future baby-daddy – Gerard Butler, is being charged with assault, reports TMZ.

Some pap-per in LA alledges the import popped him in the mouth a few times after he got up in hotness’ face. Butler is reportedly due in court June 10th.

I know there is more to this story than the pap has claimed…

But just in case there isn’t, that’s what you get for getting in my mans face, motherfucker!

Leave my man alone!

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Parasite Hilton Not on DJs List

Parasite Hilton (here pictured arriving at the Letterman Show,) and new boi – Doug Reinhardt, were manhandled at LIV in Miami, reports Princess Perez!

I don’t know why this posting tickled me so much but it did. (Don’t you dare judge me!)

Evidently, Hilton wanted to request musical redirection from the resident DJ and security felt she was a bit too close and shoved her away. Reinhardt attempted to intervene and ended up with a bloody lip.

Clearly, as everyone knows, this is offensive behavior. Unless your ass knows the DJ, you should keep your distance and if you do approach, you need to do so with flattery before requesting a tune.

DJ’s are tempermental and are best left to their playlist riding out until your tune ques up…

I bet you this bitch didn’t learn anything from the experience though… “I can’t believe someone would do this to us,” Hilton is quoted as saying.

Beleive it girl! The only center of attention in the booth is the DJ…

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