Archive for category britney spears

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Patrick Ford: X Factor Cringe Factor

Patrick Ford, 20, manages to make gays the world over cringe with his rendition of the Britney Spears cover of Circus on X Factor.

“Meeting Britney Spears is like meeting god!” declared 20-year-old Patrick Ford on X Factor.  And with those words Ford manages to make you stop dead in your tracks.  You just know this isn’t going to go well or why else would the under-cover Simon Cowell allow him to be featured on the show?

Food for thought…

That gays flock to the Chipmunk sounding Brit-Brit is little news but this here ode to the trailer trash icon by a self-proclaimed number one fan is simply beyond.

We love the “if we win the $5 million” he would have a girlfriend named Britney part.  LUV IT.

Not judging, simply stating an opinion y’all.

Ford attempted a rendition of Spears “Circus” track and, lo-and-behold, he manages to sound worse than the aging pop princess on a day without studio help.

We know its hard to fathom.

We were particularly tickled, however, at Brit-Brit’s cringe-ful reaction to the adulation.  Really girl?  This is your fan base…  For sure now she knows 1st hand how her voice has made some of us feel all these years.  And your breasts are sagging girl…  Time for more support.

Sadly this didn’t turn out to be a vocal version of Shane Mercado.  Y’all surely recall him right?  He was the dancer who worked Beyonce’s “Single Ladies” choreography in his dorm-room.  We’d put a ring on that!

As for Ford…  No, sister, that didn’t go as planned – for sure.

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RTnM Hotlinks

Paris HIlton - Here Seen at The Letterman Show, Making News as She Flashes Privates - Again!

It’s another snow storm for Gotham!  Damn.  Let me just say that we (yes, we!) are not enjoying this especially when work is on the schedule.  Add trans-Atlantic friends visiting and we are set to pull our grey hairs out (haven’t had time for Revlon…) in clumps!

So while we are having ourselves a mid-winter crisis, please enjoy these round-the-way links to some notable bits of intel.  And as always, we will throw in some two cents….

LA Rag Mag:  Ponders re-screening their copy of Colin Farrell’s now infamous sex-tape as they review pics from a magazing shoot with a fifties theme.  (I won’t RSVP to that as I have my own copy of that glorious performance and prefer to do so in private!)

HitDanBack:  Sony/Epic fires Jennifer Lopez!  (I wonder if it had anything to do with her fall on that award show some months back…)

OMG Blog:  Hilary Duff puts a ring on that finger and appears to give thanks to her intended on her knees!  (Nothing shocking about that, shit I’d drop down to mine for anything over a carat!)

Dlisted:  Joan Rivers finds Victoria Beckham vulgar!  (There is something delicious about someone who has made their career on the cuspid of vulgarity pointing the finger – nothing like knowing it first hand to give you the hands up on what you speak…)

TMZ:  Brings us a video of Whitney from down under.  (Poor Whitney, poor, poor whitney.)

JustJared:  Jesus Luz basks on the beaches of Brazil.  (What he is wearing is what happens when you introduce an American culture to an otherwise uninhibited setting!  He is much more attractive when wearing less!)

The Superficial:  Paris Hilton flashes her vagina yet again!  (Seen it once and still tryin to recover….)

CelebSlam:  Britney Spears without the airbrushing out and about…. (You will need a pill to get thru this…)

Popbytes:  featuring a re-edit GaGa-Glee video!  (It’s a perfect blend!)

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Pink: Mackie Marvelous

Pink worked the Bob Mackie costumes during her MSG sold out concert last night! And she did it in a pair of stilettos. Work it out, girl!

Now, I will admit and say that elements of her venue seemed a bit reminiscent of stage set-ups of concerts’ past – like Britney and Madonna. But what distinguished her from these two were her vocals.

From belting out her own musical numbers – wrapping up with “Get the Party Started” – to working borrowed numbers from Queen to Gnarles Barkley to Divinyls’ “I Touch Myself” catalog, her voice rang perfectly.

Can’t say that for Brit-Brit or Madge!

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Hilary Duff: Stays Cool

Over at the Tribeca Film Festival’s “Stay Cool” premiere, held at the BMCC PAC Center, Hilary Duff proved to be doing just that.

While all the other child star couterparts of her generation are falling apart, Duff is busy moving on with her career.

She should write that shit down for Lindsay and Britney!

The film also stars Chevy Chase and everyones favorite hobbit – Sean Astin.

I for one loved her casual chic ensemble with the hint of sun kissed skin. The clutch is amazing!

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Britney’s Puss Hangs Out

The class that makes Britney Spears reared its ugly side during the kick off performance in Florida recently. Britney is heard off stage declaring that her “pussy is hanging out!”

Apparently, having popped out two kids and giving out countless rides on that beat up piece of hers has left it loose.

What I don’t understand is, for someone who lip-syncs, why the techs opened her mic at all?

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The Brit Marathon

Reports of the NY economy tanking have made headlines. The times are so bad folks are curtailing their Starbucks coffee runs to one venti. For NYker’s that’s hard! But it appears NYC isn’t so strapped for cash that they aren’t able to afford giving Britney Spears a police escort out of her TenJune birthday party on Wednesday morning.

An action generally associated with high ranking politicos was provided to the pop-wreck as her SUV geared to depart her less then successful celeb soiree. The odd part of it is that there is little visible reason – if any – necessitating the escort. Smells like misappropriation of funds and manpower to me…

Perhaps all the deficit talk is just a scare tactic being used to justify raising taxes and the looming MTA fare hikes and bridge tolls…

Only our friends over at x17 can bring you the play-by-play of Britney’s NY marathon that culminates with above mentioned escort. Take a peek, and let us know your thoughts…

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Britney Party Flops!

The “Circus” that makes up Britney Spears played to a virtually empty celebrity house last night at her “official” 27th birthday celebration at uber-trendy club TenJune.

What produced, in some, expectations of A-listers galore – accompanied by mayhem for the now medicated pop-wrecks special day, resulted in some pap-pers calling it a night shortly after Spears 10pm arrival. Disappointment abounded as signs of more freeloaders then celebrity became prevalent.

With NYPD in full force, by 11 pm, the lackluster event produced only the likes of Lance Bass, Lipstick Jungle’s Robert Buckley (who made a quick exit by 10:30 pm shortly after the birthday girl’s arrival) and Ciara.

Awaiting pap-pers were even less pleased with NYPD and TenJune security detail who made every effort to keep photographers from getting any usable material – anticlimactic as it was.

The (un)official reason for this turn of events were allegedly due to Getty Images’ buy-out deal with Brit’s PR and and an unnamed weekly publication for “exclusive” coverage. Coverage that extended to the streets as well as the carpet (accessorized with a lone Getty photographer and ET video crew) and interior material.

In what must be a clear sign of how hard the times actually are in today’s economy, Brit allegedly only clocked a mere 30k for her part in the contrived venue with a rumored payment of 2k going to the Getty photogs coverage.

Girl! You shoulda stayed home… That won’t even cover your LA coffee runs for the upcoming year.

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Britney on Glamour 09

Glamour magazine launches its premiere 09 issue with pop-wreck Britney Spears on its cover. A cover that one famed blogger queen dares declare to “look amazing.”

Photoshop, you fatty! Perhaps that diet of yours is truly affecting your judgment. Eat bitch, eat! Seriously! But I digress…

Spears is set to launch her American “come-back” assault shortly and the wheels are already in motion (she just arrived in NY!) as her “Circus” CD is set to officially release by the end of Dec.

In the magazine Spears goes on to make a long list of scripted statements that are beyond over the top. Starting with saying that “in five years [she] would like to be married and have a father figure for [her] kids, someone who is a provider and can be really stable.” Hold your laughter as there is more!

Spears also speaks on the never-ending duties of motherhood, saying “as a mother, you can never be enough – or do enough – for your kids. It’s a never-ending issue for me.” Adding that she “would like to stop worrying so much, because [she] worries all the time. And to learn how to be happier just in general.” (I know, I know!)

But the bullshit doesn’t end there! It goes on… This is my favorite: “I don’t like going out. I hate clubs. I love my home and staying in bed.” Wow!

For a scanned copy of the interview – cuz you’d be a dumbass to pay for a copy of this crap – head over to BackSeatCuddler.

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Revisiting Crash N Burn Britney

I saw a posting on BATB announcing Britney Spears’ performance at the EU Bambi Awards and I couldn’t resist.

I clicked on the play button and the German speaking announcer went on to introduce Brit’s “Womanizer” track. And that’s where it all went to shit, quicker, dare I say, than I could build a chuckle. The only reason this is spared the awful embarrassment of her MTV crash is that the folks in the production booth keep the cameras shooting (really) wide.

Poor thing… Girl is done! This is cruel and unnecessary punishment for the ex-queen of lip-syncing pop. I don’t understand how she is allowed to perform “live” anymore. She can’t even match her lips to the voice over on her own tracks – speak nothing of not being able to execute a Solid Gold body-roll in her own choreography! So sad…

Pay attention to the audiences response at the end of the vid. Classic!

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