Shia LeBeouf goes full-frontal in new “Fjögur Píanó” music video

Hollywood’s premiere go-to boy – Shia LeBeouf – has now gone and done his part to dispel the male full frontal taboo practice by traveling his narrow ass across the Atlantic up-a-ways to take part in Icelandic band Sigur Ros’s new music video for their song “Fjögur Píanó.”  But before you go and let your panties cream, you should acknowledge that nothing is as taboo in the good ole US of A as male full-frontal nudity.  That’s fact.

It’s as if the powers at be have pin-pointed the embodiment of male dominance residing solely in what lies behind that zipper.  And well we don’t mind confirming to y’all that, in some cases, it does!  Cuz truth be told, there are some men out there that can work you to within an inch of your breathing capacity and make every one of your nerve endings stand at attention – simultaneously!  Or so we hear.  While others – well, three minutes in and you want to tell them to get the fuck up and get the hell out!  True story.

And y’all can thank the DailyBeast for bringing the son of a hippie’s attributes stateside.

We loudly applaud LeBeouf’s bravery in putting it all on display.  We do…  Doubly so as it incorporates interpretive modern dance.  Bravo!

We also think he should’a trimmed that bush down before they yelled ‘action!’  But that’s another matter and one which not everyone shares in kind.

Clue:  If you trim that shit, it will look bigger!

That the Beast felt the need to compile a reference point for all men who have gone and shared what’s hanging with the masses is just simply unkind.  There is little need to compare a young mans foray into being filmed nekkid to that of Michael Fassbender’s amply endowed third leg!

Unnecessary!

And leave Daniel Radcliffe alone already.

Sure, it is a matter of size!  We know.  And anyone who says it isn’t is lying!  But since you can’t really augment the length and width of what you were brought into the world with – you can thank your mother for that one – you do have other avenues to travel…  Like learning to properly use what you are working with and incorporate some tongue artistry into the mix.  Les you forget that the tongue is a muscle!

And for all we know LeBeouf could be working with some other talents that we just aren’t privy to.  (It could happen…)

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