Posts Tagged the situation

Mike Sorrentino: Tanning Salon Arrest

Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino plays modest at his Borders book signing appearance in NYC

Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino plays modest at his Borders book signing appearance in NYC

Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino was booked on assault charges after a 911 call over an “altercation” led cops to pay a visit to his “family” run tanning salon, reports state.  The Jersey Shore alum was later released back out into the world on a mere $500 bail.

That’s the headline.  What trails it puts the story in perspective. Read the rest of this entry »

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Jonathan Manfre: The Unit is Charged With Fellony K Possession

Jonathan "The Unit" Manfre and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If there is one thing those messy Jersey Shore children can do is party hard!  But apparently its not just with bottom shelf liquor.  Oh No!  Those MF”ers go at it like farm animals.  The gang of the famed MTV New Jersey based “reality” gig appear to have themselves a special heavy hitter style user in their midst, reports Radar Online.  Jonathan “The Unit” Manfre, who touts himself as one buff -assed tight bodied trainer to cast member Mike Sorrentino – skin tight he is – has now been indicted on his Summer 2011 arrest for possession of a “powdery like substance” outside the house of debauchery.

NJ Police investigators now claim lab results indicate the substance resulted as allegedly being determined to be non-other than the horse tranquilizer club drug Ketamine, or Special K, a class third degree felony.  The indictment comes with a possible 3 to 5 year sentence if found guilty.


We wonder, if convicted – not likely as “celebrity” never sees civilian results –  if MTV will look to throw Manfre his own spin-off.  Perhaps they could even call it Hard Bottom Unit!

Has a catchy ring to it, no?

It would certainly be an appropriate title, all components considered, we think.  Cuz you know with a body like that the brothers won’t even wait for him to drop the soap.  Hell if they wouldn’t be clambering for a first crack of that fine piece!

And damn if a scene with him on all fours, back arched, knees shoulder width apart, readied for a downward dog move, wouldn’t be the hottest visual EVER!  Stretch it out…

Manfre’s case is scheduled for a January 10th court date – although the man of the hour is not expected to appear.


We can’t help but wonder how an indictment of this severity does not require him to appear before the judge?  Or how there isn’t a mugshot for the supporting cast member.  And this all in a state that gloated over admitting practicing racial profiling.

Doesn’t seem kosher.

That’s MTV pull for you!

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Jonny Manfre: Situational Substance Bust at Jersey Shore

Jonny Manfre Arrested at Jersey Shore House w/ Some White Powdery Substance

This is a tad bit old, but we are just getting around to it after giving our tongue time to regain its composure from exhausting itself on the Ryan Kwanten nude pic.  That and then gagging over The Huffington Post flacks picking up our original mention of Stackhouse’s alleged nude and them mis-crediting the source.  Us, you dumb-asses!  Ain’t that some shit?  Well, onward…  Jonny Manfre – buds with Jersey Shore’s The Situation – was recently busted attempting to enter the famed den of bottom shelf debauchery with some “white powdery substance,” reports state.

Now we ain’t the type to get all righteous on the matter. For all we know those pretend to be authentic Italian freaks could be carrying talcum powder around with them for hygiene purposes.  A stretch?  Yeah, we know.

But seriously, is it any shock that this mediocre lot dabbles in some good-ole Colombian gold?

We think not!

How the fuck else they going to get their motivational juices flowing to deliver those great performances?  I would think MTV would have a supplier on standby 24/7 just for those potentially award winning moments that can manifest themselves at all hours after the bars close.

Cut the children a break.

More curious is the fact of how Manfre’s bust occurred while attempting to enter the Jersey Shore house – the “white powdery substance” was found on his person.  What type of tom-foolery is going on there?

Are non-regular members of the show made to undergo a strip search before entering?  (Sign us up for volunteer duties ASAP!)

Manfre was placed under arrest on the spot and later released after posting $1k bond.  And don’t expect anything to result from the arrest – assuredly MTV will make this go away less it tarnishes their lucrative “reality” production.  But just imagine this hot piece of ass doing some time…


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Mike Sorrentino: Big Screen Hopeful

Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino plays modest at his Borders book signing appearance in NYC

This is too rich to ignore.  Mike Sorrentino, 28, aka The Situation, has dreams that reach beyond the liquor binging, incorrect grammar using, poon-hound prowling ways depicted on the MTV reality show “The Jersey Shore,” hoping to cross over from reality TV to the big screen – as in Hollywood – reports Us Magazine.

The juicy part comes when Sorrentino is quoted utilizing a basketball hoop legend analogy to deliver on his aspirations. 

“It’s like Michael Jordan, there’s only so long you can keep winning them rings. There’s only so long you can rule the reality world.”

There are no words to address this comparison.  Not really.  

It might be somewhat naive on our part – we are fully aware of such – but shouldn’t talent be present for such a cross-over?  Not judgeing – simply making an observation…  But onward the celebutard goes with his MTV fueled, two left feet dream. 

“Hopefully by the end of the year I’ll be in a movie,” Sorrentino tells E! News.


Wonder if we can fone Fandango and reserve that ticket now…

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The Situation: Mike Sorrentino Book Signing

Jersey Shore's Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino plays modest at his Borders book signing appearance in NYC

Jersey Shore’s Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino has a book out aptly titled “Here’s The Situation.”  Of course that comes with an additional credited writer.

Surprised?  I sure hope not…

But needing something to do, I stopped by Borders Bookstore in Herald Square and patiently awaited the tardy reality star to grace us with his presence. 

The Situation appears to be pumped in every spot but where it counts

Of course, I also expected for him to show us 1st hand the so called situation.  It’s only obvious really.  And when it wasn’t happening on its own, I kindly requested it.

But wouldn’t you know it, the talentless wonder woudln’t do more than show me the cover of his book! 

Surprised?  Fucking yeah I am…

How the hell does it get to a point where mediocrity rises above the very thing that gave the illusion of there being something more?

You would think that someone who can’t dance, can’t act and is basically known for flashing his abs to every Tom, Dick, Mary, Scott and Roger would be walkin around topless or at the very least flash the goods to maintain some level of interest.

Ironically, his t-shirt read “on to the next one.”  Hmmmm…  I wonder who wrote that cuz those are words of wisdom.

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